What most men lack... and most women respect

Jaden,

Find a quiet place son, sit down, and don't rush through this letter, for it is the first of several letters that will deal with the wonderfully unpredictable, unfathomably adorable, extraordinarily beautiful part of life... Women. Wait! Don't crinkle this up and throw it away (or delete it) and move on to something you think you that I could actually teach you about. Just give me a second here Romeo. After all, you wouldn't be here if I didn't know a little something about the subject.

I'll start by clearing up the basic misunderstanding that women can't be figured out. Your friends may joke, "women are impossible to understand". Well, leave it as a joke because that's all it is. The truth is, women can be understood. You see, women just speak a different language than men do. Sure they use the same words that we do, but behind those words there lies a multitude of implications that are often undetected, and therefore, uninterpreted by the masculine ear. Some may claim that men are incapable of deciphering this code. No doubt, my son, we are at a disadvantage when it comes to the art of female interpretation, but we are not the unintelligible brutes that we are made out to be. Perhaps in another letter we'll go into detail about the "How to" of understanding women. At the moment, we'll leave it at this: while women are at times unpredictable... they are understandable. More later.

The original reason that I write this letter is to impart a special piece of advice that is very dear to me. Jaden, be chivalrous. Consider the definition.

chiv·al·rous [shiv-uhl-ruhs] –adjective
1. having the qualities of chivalry, as courage, courtesy, and loyalty.
2. considerate and courteous to women; gallant.
3. gracious and honorable toward an enemy, especially a defeated one, and toward the weak or poor

This is a very simple, yet infinitely important part of being a real man. A gentleman. Chivalry may be many things in many situations. I hope that by the time you read this, you'll have seen a good example of what it means to be chivalrous. Every woman deserves to be treated with honor, respect, gentleness, and courtesy. Be a gentleman, but never a pushover. If your courtesies goes unappreciated, or if respect is not returned, be gracious but move on. Such women are either undeserving of your continued grace, or simply immature in their understanding of cordiality. Neither woman is one worth pursuing for friendship or for courtship, but regardless of how one woman responds to your courtesy, never hold it against the next.

So hold open doors, but hold on to your heart. Stand up for her when she enters the room, but stand firm on your values. Most women will respond well to your courtesies and respect you for the respect you give. The special women are those who respect you not just for how you treat them, but for who you are apart from the mere courtesies you give. Your actions are the evidence of the character you possess inside. Be chivalrous in your heart and mind, and the rest will come naturally.

I pray that I'll be a better teacher to you by example than by word.

Unconditionally,
Dad