Jaden,
I met your mother in high school, we were both in the homecoming court. She was just as beautiful then as she is now. (In another letter, we'll talk about brownie points) She was a freshman and I was a senior at the time and we had homecoming practice in the evenings leading up to homecoming night. During the homecoming ceremony, the is a choreographed dance that all homecoming participants take part in, and at some point during this waltz, your mother and I had to dance together. A first conversation is always a little wierd, but having to dance together before a first conversation made the situation just plain awkward. In the awkwardness of my first encounter with your mother, there was but one focus on my mind. "Make her laugh."
I don't share this story with you to give you advice on how to win girl's hearts, although when that special girl comes, remember to make her laugh. (But I suppose that is for another letter too) I tell you this story so that you can see the wonderful power of laughter. It can connect people, change an attitude, humble the proud, and sometimes it's so wonderfully strong it brings us to tears. Laughter is an amazing creation, and it shows a side of God that people often fail to see.
We laugh at many things in life. Stephen King wrote a book called 'Hearts in Atlantis' and in it he wrote; "You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants." So invite laughter in. Enjoy it's company, and the company of those who bring it. I pray you laugh so hard at times that you can barely stand up straight and tears fill your eyes. Laugh often son.
Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself either. I find I laugh at myself quite often. Not because I think I'm funny, but because when God shows me how foolish I can be at times, my response always ends in laughter. There will be times when you think you've got the world figured out. You'll stand at the plate and point your bat toward the wall because you know that the next pitch life is throwing you is a fastball, and you're ready. Then, God throws you a curveball to make your wisdom look like foolishness. You'll swing so hard and miss so badly that you're thrown off balance, the bat will fly out of your hands, and you'll find yourself flat on your back staring up at the sky thinking, "I did NOT see that coming!" Remember son, a good response is always to laugh. Laugh, pick yourself up, give God credit for being who he is, thank him for humbling you, and get ready for the next pitch.
I would be amiss to tell you to laugh and enjoy laughing without giving you this warning. People laugh at many things. Sometimes their laughter is at someone, in cruelty, or at an inappropriate subject, or even an inappropriate time. Guard your heart and mind against such laughter, because that laughter is in mockery and will bring with it, judgement.
Laughter is such a fun, amazing, and pure gift. Keep it pure. Use it often. Enjoy it always.
Unconditionally,
Dad
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
The hardest thing...
Jaden,
I speak to you tonight about the hardest thing that you will struggle with throughout your life. Discipline. You see son, you will have many struggles in life. You will desire many things, many of which come from selfishness. This is why maintaining discipline will be the most difficult struggle, because it is a battle within yourself and against your own desires.
An old tribal chief once described this battle of two natures by saying he had two dogs fighting inside him. A small child once asked him, "Which dog wins?" He replied to the boy with a smile, "whichever one I say 'sick em' to".
No matter what forces surround you, what pressure you feel from others, it is always your decision to say what you say, do what you do, think what you think, and believe what you believe. Choose what is right, what is Godly, what is good and pure. It is seldom the popular thing, and rarely ever easy. In fact that is the very definition of discipline. Discipline is doing what you don't want to do, when you don't want to do it. Do not be selfish. I spoke to you of love. Love is not selfish, so may your love fuel your discipline. Let that unselfish love guide every decision you make.
Jaden, there is only one kind of dicipline. Perfect discipline. For anything less than perfect discipline is not discipline at all. However, we are not perfect. So take heart when your discipline fails you. Learn from your failures, forgive yourself, and move on all the wiser.
I love you son.
Unconditionally,
Dad
I speak to you tonight about the hardest thing that you will struggle with throughout your life. Discipline. You see son, you will have many struggles in life. You will desire many things, many of which come from selfishness. This is why maintaining discipline will be the most difficult struggle, because it is a battle within yourself and against your own desires.
An old tribal chief once described this battle of two natures by saying he had two dogs fighting inside him. A small child once asked him, "Which dog wins?" He replied to the boy with a smile, "whichever one I say 'sick em' to".
No matter what forces surround you, what pressure you feel from others, it is always your decision to say what you say, do what you do, think what you think, and believe what you believe. Choose what is right, what is Godly, what is good and pure. It is seldom the popular thing, and rarely ever easy. In fact that is the very definition of discipline. Discipline is doing what you don't want to do, when you don't want to do it. Do not be selfish. I spoke to you of love. Love is not selfish, so may your love fuel your discipline. Let that unselfish love guide every decision you make.
Jaden, there is only one kind of dicipline. Perfect discipline. For anything less than perfect discipline is not discipline at all. However, we are not perfect. So take heart when your discipline fails you. Learn from your failures, forgive yourself, and move on all the wiser.
I love you son.
Unconditionally,
Dad
Sunday, April 18, 2010
The greatest of these... is Love.
"...And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13
Jaden,
My beautiful boy, read this first letter carefully for it's subject is what brought these letters into being. Indeed, it is what brought you into being. Love, my son, is the greatest feeling, action, and characteristic you can ever possess. When you feel it, words will escape you and no literary description will ever suffice to explain it. When you give it, you will never grow tired of it. It will make you strong, it will make you bold, it will cause you to do the silliest of things, and it will cause you to do the greatest of things. Make no mistake son, love is an action. It is also the greatest of characteristics. When you possess love in your heart, it will mold you, shape you, and form you to be the boy, and later, the man God created you to be. For that is the purpose of your life, and of mine. To be who God created us to be. To love Him first, with all that you are. Then to love others selflessly.
Don't believe the lies that people will tell you about love, and believe me, you will hear all kinds of misguided things. Hold on to the truth of my words. Measure the love they try to sell you by the standard of God's love and his faithfulness. Seek out the 13th chapter of 1 Corinthians and find the characteristics of love. Compare these characteristics to the love this world buys into and you'll find which love is true.
Let love fill your heart until it breaks. For it is a good thing when your heart breaks in love. It may not feel good at the time but I assure you, nothing grows without pain, and a greater love is always worth the price you pay. Love will cost you much at times, for love is sacrificial in nature. Hear these words son, if you sacrifice out of love, love will return to you far greater than what you gave up.
There is so much more that I wish to say on love, but I fear I will complicate it too much. Love should be kept simple, so I'll leave it at this.
Your mother and I love you with all that we are. It is the love that we share for each other, and for God that brought you into this world. I promise you that you will never want for love from us. I pray that the love we show you teaches you far more than these words can teach. My son, you are loved. May you never doubt or forget.
Always,
Dad
Jaden,
My beautiful boy, read this first letter carefully for it's subject is what brought these letters into being. Indeed, it is what brought you into being. Love, my son, is the greatest feeling, action, and characteristic you can ever possess. When you feel it, words will escape you and no literary description will ever suffice to explain it. When you give it, you will never grow tired of it. It will make you strong, it will make you bold, it will cause you to do the silliest of things, and it will cause you to do the greatest of things. Make no mistake son, love is an action. It is also the greatest of characteristics. When you possess love in your heart, it will mold you, shape you, and form you to be the boy, and later, the man God created you to be. For that is the purpose of your life, and of mine. To be who God created us to be. To love Him first, with all that you are. Then to love others selflessly.
Don't believe the lies that people will tell you about love, and believe me, you will hear all kinds of misguided things. Hold on to the truth of my words. Measure the love they try to sell you by the standard of God's love and his faithfulness. Seek out the 13th chapter of 1 Corinthians and find the characteristics of love. Compare these characteristics to the love this world buys into and you'll find which love is true.
Let love fill your heart until it breaks. For it is a good thing when your heart breaks in love. It may not feel good at the time but I assure you, nothing grows without pain, and a greater love is always worth the price you pay. Love will cost you much at times, for love is sacrificial in nature. Hear these words son, if you sacrifice out of love, love will return to you far greater than what you gave up.
There is so much more that I wish to say on love, but I fear I will complicate it too much. Love should be kept simple, so I'll leave it at this.
Your mother and I love you with all that we are. It is the love that we share for each other, and for God that brought you into this world. I promise you that you will never want for love from us. I pray that the love we show you teaches you far more than these words can teach. My son, you are loved. May you never doubt or forget.
Always,
Dad
Saturday, April 17, 2010
The Reason
There are many reasons to begin blogging I suppose, probably as many reasons as there are people who blog. My reason is two fold I guess. The first reason is simple, and perhaps a bit morbid I admit. I want my son to know certain truths, truths that I hope that I'll share with him time and again as the years go by. But should my years be few, and if my voice fades from his ears before my words can be understood, I'd like to leave him what little knowledge I have. There is little that I can say that hasn't been said before and I don't claim any special insight into life, but it's a father's right and priveledge to pass on advice to his son. So I am writing to my son, Jaden Christopher. This is for you son, and honestly, for me too. You are my first reason.
My second reason is for the third party, the reader. Again, I don't claim any special insight to life and you'll be far better off and definately more entertained by reading books by C.S. Lewis, Nicholas Sparks, or the daily comics. However, if you stumble across this blog, and decide it's worth noting, I hope that what little advice I have to my son will aide you in your life's journey, however far along you may be. May it challenge you at times, bring you comfort when you need it, but always show you truth.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)